The Diary of S
2001-10-18 03:14:18 (UTC)

So depressed...

Of coarse my boyfriend had a good explanation for the whole
incident that happened earlier today. His friend that is
new in town got it from a girl they changed oil for. By the
way, my boyfriend is a mechanic. I beleive my boyfriend
totally. He is not the type to cheat. And I know how much
he loves me.
I confronted him calmly about the number and he explained
to me. Even suggested me or him calling to ask her if she
knew who he was. I believe him.
I can't live my life like this.
I should trust him.
I should. He has never cheated on me..and never will.
Why can't I get that into my stupid head!!
I am so stupid.
And depressed. He deserves so much better than me. I am not
good enough. :(
I tell him this and he disagrees.
I wish for once he would agree so I would be right for
once. I always assume things but my assumptions are always
I love him so much. And like I said I know he loves me too.
And deep down I know he would never do anything to hurt me.
But for some reason, I am expected him to cheat on me or
leave me.
I guess because I've been cheated on before (not by him)
and also cheated on him too. It was when we first went out.
With my ex-boyfriend. The worst thing I have ever done in
my lifetime.
I think I am depressed. I need to call my doctor.