jane_doe

a little piece of me
2001-10-18 01:56:02 (UTC)

ugh...

well, i've found myself seriously lacking in the moral
support department lately, so i thought i'd give this
online diary thing a go. i don't know what i expect. i
guess i just have so much pent up inside, and i desperately
need to let some of it out. i'm no good at talking to
people, so perhaps if i just write for the sake of writing,
it will help. i don't know. i don't know anything
anymore...

people keep telling me that things will get better. that's
the biggest pile of shit i've heard. things don't get
better. they change. from bad to bad. or bad to worse.
pessimist you say? no...i'm a realist. i know how things
go. could be the depression talking. it's been so long
since i've been happy that i have no idea. i don't even
know what i'm talking about now. hmph. so many things
wrong all at the same time, yet i'm not sure what they
are. i'm angry and sad and hurt and frustrated all at
once.

ok, well i guess that's it for today. i really hope
writing here helps. my poor mutilated arms and legs can't
take much more...the razor beckons again, and i must
answer...




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