kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
2001-10-17 04:06:14 (UTC)

It's not too bad, but it's not all good

Well, the espresso stand was open today at 5 when I went in.
I wonder how long they stayed open. They are supposed to
be open until 7PM this year, but twice I've gone there at 6
somethig and they've been closed.

I got my pots done. They don't look too bad I guess. My
prof (acutally assistant prof) had some good things to say
about them. I have sort of figured out what I'm doing for
my treatments. The second one may turn into a house on the

For the last couple days I've had this song in my head and I
kept forgetting who it was by. Well, when it came on today
I made sure to look who it was by. I should have known
since it got played a lot this summer at home, but oh well.
This song fits my feelings toward life right now...

Artist: Linkin' Park
Album: Hybrid Theory
Title: In The End

It starts with
one thing/I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind/I designed this rhyme
to explain in due time
All I knoe
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
Its so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on/But didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch it go
I kept everything inside and even tho I tried/It all fell apart
What it meant to me will evetually/be a memory/of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing/i don't know why
Doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind/I designed this rhyme
To remind myself How
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Actin like I was a part of ur property
Remembering all the times you fought w/ me/I'm surprised
It got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouln't even reconize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes bak to me
In the end
You kept evetyhing inside and even though I tried/it all
fell apart
What it meant to me/will eventually/be a memory/of a time when I

Tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

Repeat 2x:
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as i can go
For all this
Theres only one thing u should know

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
And lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

John has class tonight. I can't wait for him to get home so
we can chat though. It will be good to go home and visit my
family this weekend. The only hard thing about it is when
they ask about school. I'll just give them some general
it's going fine statement and they should buy it. They have
no reason not to yet...

I was/am playing Solitaire and I've been winning. Too bad
it's only on my computer. I could use the $600 that I was
ahead. Now I'm slowly loosing it all.

The mail here is slow. My friend Laura said she sent me a
letter in respose to mine, but my snail mailbox is empty
everyday. The funny thing is that the letter John sent me
got here after he did this past weekend. He and I checked
my mailbox and there it was.

Someone down the hall is playing the worst form of music
invented, country. If it wasn't such stupid light hearted
music I would say it was invented by satan himself. I don't
understand how people can listen to that shit. It drives me
nuts. Then again I was forced to listen to it on a school
bus for 4 years.

I have to say that the new Michael Jackson song "You Rock My
World" is such a great song. I love the short film for it.
MJ never ceases to amaze me. I've been a fan of his ever
since I bought the album Bad on vinal back in the mid 80's.

There is something super human about his abilities. He can
do things that most people only dream about me. His dance
moves alone are prize worthy. The best music video ever
made, in my opinion, is "Scream" that he did with Janet.
That video has more emotion than any other one i've seen. I
just love it so much.

I have a new food love, Black Forest Gummy Strawberries.
They taste positivly yummy. I could eat them
forever...well, not really, but it would be cool though...

So, the other day. Maybe it was yesterday I got this free
link to comet cursors that showed up on my desktop. I have
a T1 connection to the net so I'm always on... Anyway now I
have a little teddy bear for my cursor. I chose it because
I'm John's teddy bear. He's my sunggle bunny. I think I'll
see if they have a bunny one. That would be even cuter. I
could tell him he was on my computer. Acting as my gopher
no less.

I found one they call a rabbit that looks like your typical
commercial bunny on easter. It's blue for a boy too. It
doesn't look like John though, that's the only problem...

Actually I would be scared if it looked like John. Hey,
maybe I ought to figure out how to make a cursor and use
John's picture. That might be a little obsessive though.
Do you think he would figure I'd lost it? Don't know, don't

I'm having website trouble with one of my sites. I can't
get the random banner thing to show any banners. I only
have the one right now, but it won't show that one. I hope
when I add more banners it will show them. If I want
something to work I'll probably have to pay for it...If it
comes down to that then I won't bother!

Ok, I changed it again to a Starbucks cup. I thought the
bunny was too cute. This one is more me. =)

I'm going to add a halloween cursor to my site. I need to
do something festive for the holiday. Halloween is a fun
holiday. When I was in high school my friend and I dressed
up as Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect from The Hitch Hiker's
Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. He was a master
writer who died last year. May God bless his soul. My
friend said he was drunk when he wrote the book, but it
doesn't matter. It is one worth reading again and again.
You can better your life two fold each time you read it.
You get something new out of it with each page turn. It's a
must for anyone.