LilPunker

Mohawk Grrls Life
2001-10-16 22:59:14 (UTC)

Why am I an anti social?

Here's a little story of why I am how I am today... I
actually had to write this for an English class, but maybe
you should know, too.

It was announced on April 24th, 1991 that my family was to
move from the home I grew up in; the house where I took my
first step and blew out my first birthday candle. It was a
home full of love in which I felt I belonged. My best
friends lived just across the street and my school was just
three blocks away. Friends would walk to my house just to
see me. Yet, my dad could find no work in Holly, Michigan.
We had to sell the house.
I would purposely spill cranberry juice on the
white carpeting, thinking the stains would turn the buyers
away. My mom bought a stain remover that took away my hopes
of keeping the house. I refused to pack my belongings into
boxes; my parents had to do it for me. While they did this,
I was at my best friend’s house. We were both trying our
best not to cry. I never was able to say the
word “goodbye”.
After moving into my grandpa’s house, I started
making new friends. I didn’t realize that we would be
moving again in three months. This time there wasn’t any
boxes to pack; we never got the chance to unpack them. I
never said “goodbye” to any of my new friends from Indiana.
My parents didn’t give me the chance to see them for the
last time. We moved across the state and I never saw them
again.
When we arrived at our new home in Valparasio,
Indiana, I refused to talk to anyone. I knew that if I were
to make new friends, my parents would move again. I
wouldn’t be able to handle loosing anymore friends. I
became the ‘freak’ that sat all alone in the back of the
classroom. I didn’t talk to anyone for the whole year I was
there, and no one ever talked to me. When I was at the
house we lived in (I could never call it a home), I would
be the girl who rode her bike up and down the sidewalks
alone until sunset. My presence was just a shadow that
everyone ignored—and I liked it that way. My grades in
school began to drop along with my self-esteem.
A year later my dad found a job. He would be
working at home so we could live anywhere we wanted. Only
god knows why my parents chose to live on Miller Hill in
Glen Arbor. Now, not only did I isolate myself from other
people, my parents isolated me too. When I first went to
Glen Lake, I once again wouldn’t talk to anyone of the same
fear that I would loose the people I became accustomed
with. Thanks to my friend Samantha, I decided that I did
infact need a friend.
Though it has been six years since I first moved, I
am still affected by it. I am still afraid to get close to
people. It takes a lot for me to get close to someone. So
the two or three people that I am closest to better feel
special.... ;)


Oh yes, and I am also anti-social because most of the
people I grew to trust when I moved here just took
advantage of me by taking my money and saying "buhbye! nice
meeting you!" So maybe I'm not the freak of nature everyone
says I am... Maybe they are the freaks. If they are what
they call normal, I'd rather be insane... But normal is
only a cycle on the washing machine. =)


Current Mood: Sugar High

Current Music: My moms crappy music in the background.