marinabreeze

as the Oval turns
2001-10-16 04:32:33 (UTC)

whipped

Song I'm playing: "Only One" - Lifehouse

I got the Lifehouse CD...see, I like their stuff, but I
didn't know they were a Christian band until yesterday.
They're tight:)

Yesterday I finally got baptized. I had been wanting to do
that for a while, as it is what Jesus commands...I just
hadn't been in a steady church, not until this year. But
that's cool, being able to demonstrate the conversion God
has orchestrated in my life.

Everybody wants me to go to Fall Conference...but there's
too many time commitments for RA stuff, unfortunately...and
I didn't totally realize that when I sent out the email
switching my on-call. Great...I pray the Lord works it out
some kind of way.

I think that my brain has become supersoft. I had this
short sociology paper due today, and guess when I began it,
including research? Yes, last night. And I was up until
6:30 in the morn. So when I met with my HD this morning I
probably looked high or something. Man, I'm slippin'...I
hate that. I want to at least look competent.

Then, with this whole thing with Pacey. I don't like him,
but I do. It's like I'm still mad about the way he's
acted. But at the same time I still care about him. Jenna
said and Brad concurred that Pacey can't do anything to
make me stop talking to him. That is jacked up, but true.
It just makes me sound like I'm whipped, but that's really
messed up considering that Pacey and I are technically not
together. I hope he doesn't try and take advantage of me.
But at the same time I can't live in paranoia, and if he
does take advantage, I'm sure that it'll come back to
him...you reap what you sow. It's like I saw on this one
message board I go to, somebody was like "Karma is a bitch
and payback is a motherfucker" (excuse the language). I
don't believe in karma, but I do agree with the
point...good or bad, your stuff comes back to you, and many
times it's comes back exponentially. So if Pacey thinks
that he should be a jerk b/c he can, he better watch out.