eidolon

shifting mists
2001-10-16 04:20:50 (UTC)

bio? ... what bio? ...

... well .. i've been reading other people's journals out there and
i realized something ... i don't think that i ever really introduced
myself did i? ... *grin* .... so ... here's more information than you
probably ever wanted to know ... about me:

... okay ... so my first name is much too "unique" to be posted in a
public forum, but i've carried around the nickname Ann since i was 13
and the name Zoie since 1995 ... i respond to either equally well ...
*shrug* .. so it really makes no difference to me ... additionally,
my family and their friends invariably call me "Kitten" because it is
the nickname my grandmother gave me at birth and is easier to
pronounce than my birth name ... this in itself tells you how
unusual my first name is when everyone makes up other names to call
me instead eh? ...

... anyway ... let's see .... i'll be turning 26 next month on the
3rd ... i'm 5'3" tall and i'm not going to the scale to weigh myself
but i openly admit to being overweight for my height (currently
fitting into a men's 38" Levis) ... my hair is brunette with
prominent red highlights and i have rather plain looking eyes except
for that they are noted to fluctuate in colour from grey to blue to
tints of green ... ("and that they are extremely intelligent and
expressive", says the person sitting beside me and reading over my
shoulder) ..

... i enjoy many different genres of music and usually pick what i
want to listen to based upon the mood i am in at the moment ... when
i am in good health i am an avid hiker (which is convenient since i
live in the mountainous western side of Washington state) and i have
a rather strong bond with nature -- ahh, i'm also an eclectic pagan
by the way - please do NOT give into your urges to try and "save"
me .. i'm quite happy with my beliefs in that area, thank you ...
.. okay, where was i? ... oh! ... yeah .. my interests ... *grin* ..
... i'm also a voracious reader who consumes mostly non-fiction on
anything that strikes my interest as i pass it in the bookstore
(which incidentally is where the majority of any spare cash goes) ..
when i read fiction it is usually either a good classic, horror or
mystery ... the electrical hum of a television will get on my nerves
after a few hours but that's not to say that i don't enjoy a good
movie now and then ... i would probably watch a program/sitcom or two
if i could ever remember what time and day they were on, but it's not
important enough to write down and add to my multitude of lists and
post-it notes scattered around the house ...

... my past is filled with numerous relationships that involve
domestic violence of one sort or another spanning the spectrum of
physical, emotional, verbal and more ... this includes my
relationship with my parents for as far back as i can remember ... i
am currently dedicated to dealing with the issues that have compiled
over the years due to this partially because i have recently become
involved with a wonderful man who lives a few hours drive north of
here and i realize that we cannot move forward in our relationship
unless i work on rectifying some of the lessons i have learned in
life to date ... we have been dating since last July ... i find the
phenomenon to be rather remarkable due to my life experiences to
date, but i can genuinely say that i am in love with the man and
trust him implicitly - which is a first for me ... i'm also excited
to say that i will be driving up to see him again in just two more
weeks ...

... my sexual orientation is bisexual .. although, to be honest, i
have always had a tendency to lean more towards men than women when
considering a life partner (not that there hasn't been the occasional
exception) ... my kinks include, but are not limited to: sadism,
bondage, being spanked, and a very mild amount of masochism ... with
men i am usually rather submissive in bed, though i occasionally have
a burst of Dominant urges ... vice versa when i am with women ...

.. although highly intelligent, my memory is very selective (hence
the post-it notes and lists everywhere) and i am lacking in formal
education ... because of this my jobs have always been either labor
intensive or retail ... this changed a year ago when i had surgery
performed on my lower back and have not healed properly nor (due to
some other health issues) had the chance to recover adequately ...
for this reason i am currently sleeping on my parent's couch in a
house shared by them, my grandmother, and myself while i continue to
strive diligently at healing myself both in mind and body ... in
the "mind" category of that statement i am referring to my ongoing
battle with depression and social phobia in addition to the
unscrambling i'm working on in relation to the domestic violence
referenced above ...
... my "drugs of choice" are vicoden which i use every so often to
relieve pain in my back, Dove icecream bars, and on the rare
occasion - weed ... i do not drink alcohol, smoke, or dabble in any
other kind of recreational or non-recreational drug use ...

.... i know very little about movie stars or music bands - i simply
don't have the memory for that kind of thing - rather, i have a wide
variety of knowledge, information and experiences for someone of my
age and i enjoy sharing them with others as well as learning new
things ....

... i've met numerous people from online and i hope to continue to
meet more as time goes on fore there are many people with whom i've
spoken who i find interesting in one way or another ... as a note:
this interest in people is definitely on an individual basis due to
the fact that i have a very negative view of society at large and
strong opinions on numerous topics dealing with society's current
issues ...

.... i continue to remain rather unaffected by what happened in NY on
September 11th except that my irritation level is perhaps a touch
higher ... in my time online i rarely chat with the exception of
keeping in touch with a few friends through ICQ and visits to a
particuar chat community bulletin board to read the opinions and
thoughts of others who visit there ... also, as you can tell, i spend
quite a bit of time writing in order to expel feelings and concerns
so that i don't burst .. *grin* ..

Brightest Blessings
.. and don't feel shy about dropping me a line sometime if you want
(i'm the socialphobe after all, feeling shy is MY job) ..

- zoie