faiien angei

blah is all i can think of

i think that i am finally getting over my "mood"...the real
me is starting to shine through...i hope.

i've given up on the boy... i thought that he was different
than the rest...but obviously i was wrong...the fact that
he played it off as if i was some sort of regional bitch to
save face in front of JJ angers me...

that sure was a night...
no more than 2 minutes after the boy said that to me, PG
told me he'd call me the next time he was in town as well...

my god...what kind of girl have i perceived myself to be?
i'm not that girl!!! but maybe it's too late to change
their perception...i'll have to work on it.

i dont care so much what they think of me, they're not
really worth the effort...
but others...i'll stop them from having the same
perception...it's not an option! it's a must!

went to the shop with my sidekick today...it was nice to
see them all again...
on my way there, out of nowhere she told me that she just
saw a couple walking down the street with a stroller...and
for some reason when she looked at them, she didnt see
them...she saw me and PG...that scares me. She's now
convinced that we're going to get married. HA HA HA...i
find that to be amusing as i know that that would never
happen.

Jason rather pissed me off last night too. On friday i
ended up going mini golfing with them...mind you Jason and
i called things off 2 months ago...he tried to kiss my
cheek and i spazed...i dont feel comfortable with him as i
know that he still likes me...last night, me and my girl
called...he didnt know that i was on 3-way (bitchy i know)
and he made a comment about how he got angry with me when i
got angry at him for fisting that girl...he claimed that it
wasnt my business...ha ha ha ha...i had expressed to him
before that hte reason i was mad was that he was offering
that information to some of my bestfriends...yet when i
would ask him in a round about way, he wouldnt give me an
answer. is it not understandable as to why that would piss
me the fuck off?
i think it's perfectly reasonable...
i could never be with someone who goes around
bragging about that.
is that prejudice of me?
i dont want to be with someone who i question to be a
whore...

i feel like calling the boy...but i know that i
shouldnt...i jsut want to talk to him...to be friends with
him the way we were...but i feel that's not possible...

why do i have so many boy problems...but never have a boy?
eugh...
the psychic was right...i will never find anyone.