steveclark

Six dollars please. No I said six dollars, not eighty seven cents

I work in a shop. A small clothes shop actually. Or should
I say, clothing retailers? It's not a great job, but it's
easy money, right? Wrong. It's hard work trying to find
things to do while you're so bored you want to rip your
eyes from their sockets and feed them to your fish. But the
boredom isn't the worse part. Oh no! It's the customers.
Collectively the general public are the most stupid,
idiotic people to grace the world. They want stupid things,
ask stupid questions and do stupid actions. 'No, sir. Two
items in the changing room, not three'. 'Ok, I'll put this
one back.' So the guy puts one back then walking over to
the changing rooms again picks up another item that catches
his eye and tries to get in again. 'Sorry sir. Can you see
a slight problem with what you have just done?' They as for
jeans that don't exist. 'Hello, sonny boy. Was wondering if
you have a pair of dark, but not too dark, light, but not
stonewash, kind of dirty denim jeans for my grandson.' The
general public don't know shit. You can tell them exactly
what you think of them and they'll still laugh and think
you're just another store clerk doing a job and trying to
relieve boredom. 'Nope, wrong there, actually I'm mocking
you because the very thoughts of you asking me another
insane question, like 'Do you sell mens suspenders?' is
driving me mad. Today a man came into the store, takes two
items of clothing into the changing rooms and I didn't see
him for 20 minutes. What was he doing in there? I hear you
ask. I have no idea. But it's not just in my store that the
general public prove their absolute unworthimess. No way.
It's in every store across America, and indeed, worldwide.
You think Clerks is just a movie? Think again. Customers
are really like that. The snobs expect first class
treatment from a second rate estabishment. The kids just
want to steal and the workers want clothes we don't sell.
Sure I could act friendly, but these guys known as the
customers are only going to walk all over you anyway,
regardless of what you say. Then comes the second worst
part of the job. The customers credit card. What a waste of
time. Scan it through thr machine. 'Card problem. Please
verify with company' So you call up the credit card company
who won't tell you a damn thing anyway, but you have to do
it to look professional. 'I'm sorry sir, but there's a
problem with your card!' I say to the slightly balding man
across the counter. 'Well what's wrong with it?' he
replies. 'WELL IF I KNEW THAT I WOULD OF SORTED OUT THE
PROBLEM...(pause for breath)...SIR!!!!!' I scream across
the counter, making the man drop his shopping. I really
despise the customers. The money is welcome and it breaks
up the day, but all in all the customers don't know what
they want and when you give what you think they want they
want something else. So keep that in mind next time you're
in a shop and you see a decidely bored clerk behind a till, think
twice before talking to them. In fact, make it easy on
them, don't buy a thing. Just walk slowly out of the shop
and leave the shopping for another day. I'll end with
another question. Is the customer always right? No, the
customer is always a dumbass.

Steve
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