skytrick

My life as Trick
2001-10-14 18:43:20 (UTC)

Have you ever danced with the devil by the bright disco ball?

I guess my motivation to lose weight is ebbing. I've managed to shed
30 pounds since February, going from an appalling 240 lbs to a
managable 210. I've curtailed my fast-food frenzies to almost nil,
and the majority of the weight that I have packed on is in muscle. At
6'2", the weight is fitting my frame well, but I'm looking for
something a little more defined. Currently, I will win no body-
building awards, but the goal is within view.

So why is it so difficult for me to get out there and run, or bike,
or lift weights, or even WALK, when I know that the end result will
arrive sooner if I DO?

I find myself out at the clubs almost every weekend, feeling and
looking better than the week before, searching for THE ONE, only to
see them get swpet away in washboard abs.

In one crowd of men was a boy that I vaguely recognized, and he was
bumping and grinding with the best of them. He seemed to be a mere
shadow of the person that I remembered him to be ...and 80 lbs
lighter. And happier.

When I finally got a chance to speak with him, he confessed that he
never hooked up with anyone at the clubs when he went out.

"Two years ago, when I was heavier, I was not good enough for them to
be speak to me. Now that I have a 30-inch waist, they want to know
when I moved to town and if I was seeing anyone. Fuck 'em."

And suddenly, quite out of nowhere: MOTIVATION reared its head and
gave a smile like a double-edged sword. Beautiful in its sight, but
disgusted by the reason for its appearance...


..and I finish my botle of water and embrace my newfound motivation.




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