Silver web spun of a twisted imagination
2001-10-14 01:28:13 (UTC)

"Smile though your life is miserable"

I'm not sure why I like that quote so much. Maybe it says
something about me, huh? But my life's not miserable.
Anymore. I have a great boyfriend, and friends who I guess
care about me...Ok I have a great boyfriend, family that
love me, and a sister who loves me. Plus a few friends I'm
always sure about because their relationships with me never
change. And I'm worried about my sis bc she's grounded so I
can't be her outlet and about Jason because he won't talk
to anyone and he was actually abrubt with me today. I mean,
Jason is never rude. Never. But he came kinda close and
even though we aren't close and he probably doesn't think
twice about my frowns I am worried about him. I think maybe
that's who the title applied to. He always keeps up that
image, that approachable okayness like nothing goes wrong
in his life because he doesn;t let it. I know of course
that stuff does go wrong in his life; he just never lets
anything bring him down for long, like trying to drown a
bath toy that won't die; it just keeps bobbing back to the
surface. Ok now I know I am nuts. But anyway he is letting
it drown him now I think; he feels lost almost to me not
like I'm losing him; he was never mine, he feels lost to me
as in to me it feels like he has lost himself. Or is lost
in himself. No he is lost in Gina. I wonder what the deal
is with that girl anyway? From what Tim tells me it sounds
like she's leading him on but I'd like to think that Jason
has more sense than to fall for that so it is probably more
complicated. It is also not my business. Ok. Well.
Hopefully James will talk to Sandy and everything will be
okay on that side of my nerves. I wonder when Sandy and I
will go Samhain/Halloween shopping. I love my sister so
much. I hope these next three years go bye quickly. Then I
can be away. Jason will find his princess and live happily
ever after. I don't know when, but he will. I hope he at
least is alright soon.