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2001-10-12 22:51:33 (UTC)


If you would just call me
I wouldn't hang up
I'd stay on the line
Just to listen to your voice
And hear you breathe

I wish you'd show me
How you feel inside
And give me a glimps
Into everything you are
So I'd know what to be

You always run and hide
Or throw around my heart
You only play games
Tying me down and leaving
So I can never win


I swear I have pulled every single muscle in my body... I hurt SO bad
all over. YAY! Wait, not "yay" because I hurt like a banci, but "yay"
because its friday~ (of course, what were u thinking!) lol- besides
my paralyzed condition, I am in a rather hyper mood tonight and it'd
be awfully cool to do something- hehe. Cait, me, Brock, and Kendon
are sposed to do something later tonight after Brock gets back from
his hockey practice. We were thinking of going to that haunted trail
at 3 sisters park. My mom said it is SO scary! i'm excited for it!
(if we go of course. You never know because we all seem to change our
minds WAY too often!) hehe- anyways, so those are the plans for
tonight... maybe, if we dont do the haunted thing, we will all go see
Corkey Romano. That movie looks SOOOO funny! Either way it will be
fun... hey, whatEVER we do will be fun! You know how I know this?
Because when your surrounded with people you love, and i mean REALLY
love, you'll always have fun. Because you will always be safe, and
always be loved back. :)

Dustin isn't really worthy or writings in my diary at the moment...
but i guess i'll throw some meaningless stuff in here, just to blow
off the minimal amount of steam I have about the whole "situation." I
am really not that upset about it all. I mean, HE is the one losing
something good! I am a wonderful person, and I dont think he really
realizes how good I make everything in his life. He can't possibly...
I once thought he cared, and I once thought he loved me, but once you
know and feel something as valuable as that, you can't just lose it.
And he has seemed to lose everything these past couple of days. its
only been 19 in all... almost 3 weeks~ (thats up for my long-running-
relationships list- hehe) Oh well, whatever will be will be, K SURA
SURA. And thats just how its got to be. *wink*

They found more anthrax in New York now. And we officially bombed
Afgahnastan. In the midst of it all, it seems people, in the end,
only want to save "their own asses." (words spoken tonight, by: my
bradley) Is this all that America is? And is that all that we, as
americans stand for? This war is said to last 10 years. It is already
a nuclear and, they think, biological war.... what trying times we
have ahead, I can only imagine. And all the while, all we can do is
pray, and love eachother.

my veiws on the world, as of today
10/12/01 6:31 pm (central time)

This song always reminds me of Nick's mom, and when she died. And how
I just sat up in my room, and cried. For hours into the night. I have
cried for love, for boys and girls, for friends, for teams, for
family, for death, in happiness, in stress, and I have prayed for
complete strangers... but up until now, I have never cried, for my
country, for my town, and I have never cried thinking of my freedom.


Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees


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