The Chronicles of Ms. Evil
2001-10-12 17:13:48 (UTC)

Kool-Aid: Friend or Foe?

Hey diary,
What the hell ever goes through my head? Not much oviously.
I was talking to ken and I want him to like start talking
to me like I do, how i babble on about everything, I know
half the shit he doesn't understand some of the lingo, and
some of the other stuff he could give a damn but i just
like to tell him what the hell is going on. I tell him
when things are bothering me or upsetting me. He says he
doesn't like to tell me things that bother him because i
wouldn't care, or i wouldn't really understand because it's
work stuff, and because he doesn't want to bog me down with
his problems because he thinks i have better things to
worry about. I know some of the stuff i won't get but i
like to know what it is. And i would care because it's
bothering him, and i love him so i would like to know if
something is wrong. He asked me last night to ask him
something anything I wanted to know. And i like couldn't
think of anything, i like don't know what i want to know, i
just want to know if something is bothering him or not.
It's a pretty simple concept. I don't like it when people
won't talk about what's bothering them. With Erin I can
mostly get it out of her, not everything but most. I try
to understand and most of the times i do understand for the
most part. But the thing is i like to know what is
bothering her because i love her and care about her. It's
the same with ken i love him and care about him so i want
to know what's bothering him and i will try to understand,
if i don't then at least i know what's wrong. GOD WHY
CAN'T ANYONE GET THIS CONCEPT!!!!! I thought it was pretty
simple, maybe I'm just messed in the head and my thought
process is a little wacked. I have been so testy lately,
little things have been bothering the fuck out of me. I
like can't stand knives, my room mate knows this, a lot of
people know this. I'm talking about like jack knives or
hunting knives. Everyone here has a fucking knife and they
tend to stand around and play with them. I don't know why
but i like can't stand them. Last night i was reading
something and this kid ken whipped out his knife and i
heard it click open. I turned around and told him to put
it away, because i can't stand knives he kinda smiled and
laughed and i was like i'm serious, I really can't. So he
put it away but then like not that long after it was out
again. I have fucking nightmares about getting stabbed and
shit and i get a chill down my spine when i like see these
knives. I don't understand why. But like all these people
need to fucking get a life and stop this knife bullshit.
It's like oh look at me i have a knife i'm kewl. Good god,
get a clue, knives are dangerous, esp in the hands of
people who don't know how to use them. My room mate has
stopped pulling her knives out like in front of me but like
people play around like it's no big deal with these
things. I am going to snap on someone soon. I don't know,
maybe i'm just being a bitch and need to cowboy up and
deal. Ahh anyway, i have to go take a nap, sleeping hasn't
gotten any better, i had another restless night again.
talk to you later

Ms Evil