2001-10-12 16:20:50 (UTC)


all i can think today is smoke, my brain isn't functioning,
i cant comprehend what happened last night or whats
happening today or who was involved or anything...i feel
like i didn't wake up at all and im still dreaming. i can't
differentiate between whats real and what isn't, i can't
remember anything without a layer of fuzz instantly
shrouding my thoughts into obscurity. i feel like im on
drugs...wouldn't that be nuts? if i was back on drugs. i
was twenty pounds lighter then.
i feel jaded and moody like i just woke up, im
wearing the same clothing as yesterday and i feel
gross. i want to go home and my car isn't here, i have to
take a math test soon and i didn't even look at the
chapter. someone rode their bike to my house at three
in the still amazed. i remember calling
him crazy, and then he tried to kiss me and i had to
keep pushing him away. i don't want that, this isn't what
i want, don't you get it, you're the worst thing that ever
happened to me! you owe me two years of life!