2001-10-12 04:47:07 (UTC)

i wish

i always have wishes for something. you know. like
something more than i have now. i guess its just always
been that way but especially now. because of this whole
envy complex i have. so i think its kind of odd but i
definitely know i want something. i can't pin point it. but
i know something is missing in my life. i think it is so
stupid. but i was actually considering making a video for
MTV's Real World just for the hell of it. i know i probably
won't even get recognized. but i definitely feel like i
need some sort of get away. its kind of weird. but i do
need it. maybe this whole show coming around is just one of
those envious things. and i know it would probably be so
awkward to have a camera putting your every moment on tv.
but i don't know how else to go about doing the whole get
away thing without any money. i know all i'm going to do is
totally chicken out and not even come through but i guess
its just something i pondered for a second. =)