Aqua's Life
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2001-10-11 16:13:21 (UTC)

I have to move out!!!!!!

I'm 18 and I honestlt never thought that I would be moving
out of my house for these reasons. I thought that I would
move out when I had the money and actually wanted to be on
my own. I'm not really ready yet but I have no choice. I
can't stand living at home (if you can even call it that)
anymore. I fight constantly with my parents and my brothers
are driving me crazy. I wrote on here before about some of
the stuff they do. I can't take it anymore. My boyfriend is
worried about me because I am constantly stressed out. He
thinks that I'm not safe living here anymore. Its too
emotionally draining. I never have any peace. Its so hard
to move out though. My parents were really protective and
they didn't let me have my first job until this year. I
quit a few months ago and now I'm looking for another one.
I'm not really used to working and now I have too. I'm so
mad at my parents for sheltering me so much. Its like LIFE
just suddenly hit me. I wish I knew where to start making a
life away from home. I mean, I have no clue. I know it
sounds pathetic but its true. I don't even know where to
start when looking for an apartment. I've always lived in a
big house with my parents and they always told me that
apartments were just a waist of money. My b/f however, has
lived in one with his Dad for the past few years. I guess
its just something I have to get used to. I can't talk to
my parents about what I should do because they won't help
me. They just say stuff like "you don't need to leave"
or "I don't have time". The biggest problem though is that
they won't let my drive. I know that is crazy. My b/f said
that if they wouldn't take me to get my license then he
would. He tries not to do things that piss them off but its
hard not to. Now I have to worry about getting a car and an
apartment. Its just so much to handle. I hate relying on my
b/f for so much. He willingly gives me advice about
everything and I don't know what I would do if I didn't
have him. I feel weird even saying that because I've always
been so sure that I was in control of my life. But now I
realize that its much more than I could have imagined.
I have to go to a job interveiw on Friday and probably
start working a week after that. I even told my parents
today that I seriously didn't want to live here anymore.
Knowing them....they'll probably make my pay rent or
something. I Know complainging about it won't do any good.
I just have to grow up...really fast. If I can just keep
telling myself it will be ok and not stress out. My
situation could be alot worse but its still bad. Oh well, I
guess I'm done bitching about my life and how much it
sucks. Maybe when I start working things will fall into
place and my parents will back off. I hope.

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