aris' thoughts
2001-10-11 15:16:34 (UTC)

i believe

i believe all things that happen to us in our lives have a
reason that nothing happends by chance but by fate and
destiny. my son has just been determined eligable for
specila education services. i do not know why i have been
chosen for a special needs child but i do believe there is
reason for it. maybe its a reminder to me to stop wasting
my abilities and apply myself more through my son? i
believe as a parent, a loving mother who would clearly
literally die for her children that it is my job to see my
chilren are given every oppourtunity to strive and suceed
in life. to make sure they are offered ways to excel and be
the very best they can be so i signed the papers agreeing
to classify my 6 year old as a child with special needs. i
am confident that this new educational program will allow
him to succeed in learning. i KNOW he can learn and the
diagnosis from all the tests from the different doctors who
have been looking at him for a year also found that yes he
can learn and is overwilling but that something is blocking
certain things from sticking and with a special ed
environment they WILL find the correct buttons to push to
turn the lil babies brain on. i have no regrets in signing
the papers but i do regret not having the support from my
husband in these things, i feel alone and know for sure
that if this does not work right it WILL come back solely
on me. i worry about failure alot even more so when it is
directly linked to my kids. god gave me this child, a
healthy , loving, sensitive lil boy and i will never quit
on him it is my responsibility to keep searching with him
in hopes of finding his way.

my Mistress,, it seems as if i have not a moment to spend
with Mistress sense She agreed to retake me under Her
guidance and care. bob stayed up way late last night and i
couldnt get to Her and i just tried calling but have no
answer. She is with me always i know but i just really need
to spend some time with Her both for i miss Her so and
because it feels W/we are more distant then ever now. i
still do not know how Her tests went, i hope to see Her