Sarahbellum

The meanderings of a mind
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Ezoic
2001-10-11 14:47:14 (UTC)

sadness

I work on some really good stuff and no one comments on it.
It isn't as if I need people to say oh that was good or oh
it was bad to form my own opinion. It's just nice to hear
what people think. I met with my English Advisor. He seems
to think I am doing well. I have to schedule for next
semesters classes at the end of this month. I always hate
scheduling for classes. I never know what classes to pick,
and you have to form a schedule you want in your head, and
then how many hours should you take? It drives me nuts. My
freshman year I had a ton of morning classes. I don't do
mornings. My sophomore year I decided not to take any
classes before 11 am. That works out pretty well. Perhaps
I shall keep to that method. You don't want to start to
early but you don't want to go all day. There's gotta be a
lunch break in there somewhere....OH THE STRESS.
Enough of that. My English class was canceled today.
My mom is coming to visit. I should use the time to study
for my midterm but she hasn't seen me in two weeks. I
wonder if some parents need their kids more than their kids
need them. I'm content with my life as it is. I wish I had
more freedom. How long can I be a little girl?
I used to talk to my friend J's friends online a lot.
They always twist my words and make me feel like a loser.
Instead of support I got taunted. Well last night they were
talking and I finally came out ahead. I pused them to leave
instead of being the one pushed. If I tell One of them
something in confidence, not too much long later it is the
big joke between them. They repeatedly ask the same
questions, so I make stuff up. I was a compulsive liar last
night, I doubt they know what that means. Two morons trying
to diagnose me? Hmmmmmmm. They don't get that I just lie
to them, and really I'm only spinning them in circles. I
finally knocked them down. I'm not a different person,
they just never knew who I was or what I am. I am happy
that I don't feel bested anymore.
I think I need to go back to the third grade. I can't
remember the difference between break and brake. I always
use break, but I'm probably wrong part of the time. And in
Spanish I don't know when to use por and para. I think I
might have to teach myself some stuff, in the third grade
that's not an option. Oh How I miss it!


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