Vanilla

Here.

I don't sit here anymore. And yet I am. I sit here, sad. I say I don't know how to feel. But I am heart broken. Shattered. I am escaping. For the right reasons. Because I always do the right thing now. I don't want to go home. Because home doesn't feel like home anymore. Home isn't him. Home isn't home without max. I miss her every day. I know it's a pain I have to bear. I don't know how to feel. I get blown away by all their emotions. They make me feel low. I know I am in control of my emotions. That's why I sit here. To take control. But everytime I do, I feel so broken. I sit in a wetherspoons, with my laptop and a prosecco, because what is more comforting and feeling safe than that?

He isn't home for me. Anymore. But when I tell him to go he won't. And I keep having to find a home outside of it.

I'm just buying time now. I don't know why my life is like this, but if I'm here then he is definitely not the one.

Yeah and I called Tee.