Canary

I'm Diane...I'm Tired

I have started online therapy. It's been a month's worth of 40-45 minutes with a therapist. So far, I like it.
I yelled and screamed at the top of my lungs at my Grandmother in law this weekend. She comes out and tries to tell me what to do with my house, is extremely nosey and sits and watches everything we do...everything. The house was quiet all week but she came out and immediately started doing things that my husband had asked her to stop doing-such as telling me how to decorate my home and get into my business. She said that she's going to buy stuff for the Xmas tree and put it on there-and laughed. She also asked why I went to the doctor and what for at the dinner table. I snapped. She cried and yelled. It's a lot.
I feel bad and guilty for being the bad guy.
I started my birthday off horribly. But at the end of that day, I decided to make 44 the year of me-to finally start sifting through the rubble of my past and why I am the way that I am and to improve me.
I don't know if I'm off to a good start lol but hey, at least I've put one foot forward in the right direction.
My relationship with my mom and sisters is subpar. It's bad too.
My office life sucks. I sit near a group of women who continually talk crap about me and I hear their words.
Tired. Very very tired.