Live my life♥

update...

Well, in my last post I had posted about my Tims job but lolz I just went for 2 days training. Work culture was very pathetic. they wanted me to take orders and do things within 2 days and I actually was doing it. old staff member younger than me shouted at me for pouring milk in the coffee where I wasn't suppose to. I was blamed for giving wrong order while I did not made that order. Owner shouted me or rather talked abruptly for putting my hands in the pocket while the fact was that there were no pockets in my uniform pants, she said that because on 1st day I was wearing my own trousers & I did put hands in pocket as I worked in corporate I had that habit and manager complained that to her. I went on fri and sat manager told me she will call me and she dint call before that I made decision of not going to the coffee shop. there uniform for which they were to deduct 50dollars is still with me not any use to me though I have not returned it.
I don't know people somehow didn't liked me there. and people anyways don't like me at first place when they spend time with me they start liking me. I was really depressed also I joined there in wrong time as there was continuous rush because the other Tims in the area was closed for renovation and all the customers where flooding here. I really salute all the girls working there standing continuously for 8 hrs and serving. it was so fast paced or else queue would keep on getting longer. There was mopping involved too and I was still OK with that. They dint call me because they might have not liked my performance.
I always dreamt of having my cafe and how I would serve people with fun and love but my experience here was so bad, I felt so low on confidence and something wrong and unfit. A was understanding to know how I felt about it. Phewww tbh now am losing patience. I have enrolled myself in a coaching but it is teaching me things which I already do may not be consistently but yest I did it before I hope there coaching will help me get a job as I see everyday people post about how they got a job.
A and I had a fight yesterday and i am feeling so shitty I cried a lot yesterday because I missed mom, today he is at work am alone at home and nothing to do. I actually don't feeling like doing anything. I wanted to shoot a video but my brain is not working on content topic. I am bored, angry, frustrated, PMSing there is festival going on in India and here there is nothing. I hope I join some community and I make friends because I would just not like living such bland life. I just feel so unproductive. I don't know how long our fight will continue because he called me and I said not to call me. He treated me bad yesterday, he yelled at me for no reason and he totally ignored me when I was trying to talk to him, he told me show me real you do drama and such things for literally no reason. He didn't eat food at night and because of him even I dint eat. I slept on sofa and actually I couldn't sleep.