Public humiliation maybe I'm just trying to punish myself by exposing what really goes through my mind, what I really do compared to what I allow people to see.
I use to be really good at hiding things,not so much anymore. Is it really that I'm not good at h I ding it or that actually I'm try and hoping for help?
I use to say I'm not a stupid person like you may believe I am, and at that time it was true... not so much anymore. I'm impulsive, reactive, and nolonger invest in me. I'm at a point in my heart I know I'm a lost cause. A true waste of time. Funny tho it was not like that before. Nothing like that at all. I was a magnet people were drawn to me, people followed me wherever I took them. I was known for always smiling, now all those qualities have diminished and I will be remembered as a sad troubled person lost unaware of reality. Not an easy thing to see.....thats for sure