AmberG

30/09

After all the excitement of the last few days I forgot to write this last night.

Bob and the babies are doing good. She is such an amazing mum. One of the jellybeans is a little bit smaller than the other 3 so it might the runt of the litter. If it is I won't be able to let him go. I would have to keep him. I'm wondering if it's too early for a vet visit. I'll keep an eye on them. I mean I am anyway. I'm checking on them ever few hours. Last time I went in there I went to feed bob and I sat on the bed with her and she was feeding the jellybeans. She saw the food in my hand and stood up. Needless to say the babies weren't happy. They make adorable noises. Bob keeps sitting them hahaha. Poor little things.

Ben annoyed me today. He came over this morning and we were sitting in the gazebo. We were both smoking and when he finished he dropped it on the floor. I said don't just drop it on the floor put it in the butt bucket. He told me I was overreacting. I don't think I was. I don't want rubbish all over the floor. Plus it's rude. Cheeky old twat.

I had to pop out to the retail park earlier. What should have been a 30 minute trip took 2 and a half hours. There was an accident on the motorway and the whole town came to a standstill. It took me almost 2 hours to get out the car park at the retail park. I wish I hadn't bothered. I should have gone down tomorrow. Mum was so worried that she called me to make sure I was ok.

It's a little bit windy tonight. But I'm hoping the gazebo will still be standing tomorrow.

I've been getting up really early lately. Which means I've been tired and going to bed earlier. Last night it was around 11.30 ish. I downloaded a sleep app. It tells me how I've slept. And every evening mum and me have a laugh at my sleeping habits. Like it tells when I snore. When I talk in my sleep. When I grind my teeth and when I stop breathing. That's a scary one. Because I've been doing it for years.

So last night piss head Ben was on a push bike. Me Linda and gobshite were howling. I have no idea why he was riding it around the yard. But he almost fell off a few times. And he was talking to hootie tootie. He wouldn't tell me what it was about but I don't like it. He was slagging her off the other day. Saying he don't trust her and he has nothing in common with her. He would never talk to her and she didn't belong on this site. And now he was talking to her. And he was trying to get Linda to slag me off today. Told her I was overreacting and was trying to get her to agree. She didn't. I don't know what his problem is. If it keeps up he can make his own way to town and back when he needs to go.

I'm going to order some fairy lights on Monday. See if I can get some light I'm the gazebo. It's really dark and there's nowhere to put my security light. It's on a chair right now but it's pointing in the wrong direction. So I'm hoping fairy lights will fix the problem. I don't know what I'm going to do if it doesn't help. Probably just get more lights. I'm still looking into getting an outdoor rug. But the one I've seen on Amazon is just a bit bigger than a towel. And I really need it bigger. It's a pretty big gazebo it's 3m x 3m. I've got the table and chairs in here and there's still lots of room. I really hope it survives the winter. As long as the winds aren't too strong and we don't get snow it just might make it. Fingers crossed.

Linda and me were talking about Bob last night. We were saying it's weird that none of the kittens have white on them. They're all solid black. So our theory is the evil can from next-door got to her a few days before Amigo when she got out that time. It's all down to eye colour now. So evil has orange eyes and so does Bob. Amigos are green. So if all babies have orange eyes I know Amigo isn't the dad. I don't know if he thinks he is. But I won't introduce him to the babies yet. Not for a few weeks at least. I have great homes lined up for 3 of the babies. I'm just worried about the 4th. He told me I have to make sure I find homes for all of them including Bob and Amigo. There is no way in hell I would re-home Bob. Mum wouldn't be happy if I did for one thing and she's part of my family now. It's never going to happen. How dare he try and tell me what to do. I'm not going to let him control me. It's my van. It's my money. If I want to make sure the cats eat before I do that's my choice. They had no choice they rely on me and they don't understand when they can't eat. Whereas I know why I can't eat. So I always make sure they eat I don't worry about me.

So the other night when I was over at mum and dad's. Dad was watching a murder mystery documentary and he said there's no such thing as the perfect murder. And I said well you wouldn't leave any hairs behind at the scene.

Linda embarrassed gobshite tonight. It was hilarious. Mean but hilarious. So I won't bore you with the details but a guy from the yard next-door came over. I think his name is Taz. Anyway gobshite rushed out to go and see him and when she came back I asked her if she had a crush on him. She said no but then went off to see him again so Linda shouted out to him that gobshite fancies him. Like I said. Extremely mean but hilariously funny. I kinda get the feeling that she will be telling all this to a therapist one day. Hahaha.

I'm glad we don't have to pay for therapists here. They would make a fortune from me. I'm still nowhere near the top of the list. I'm going to have to check the email again. I think it should be around February time. I can't really complain though. When I was in Wales I was on the waiting list for over 10 years and got nowhere. I went on it here 2 years ago next month. So at least I know I'm still on the list. I'm pretty proud of myself for sending the email as I hate trying to communicate with people. It gives me anxiety. I never did that when I was in Wales. I just waited and asked the doctor every time I saw him. He always said he would chase it up but I never heard anything. Over 10 years. I went on it here 2 years ago and I should get an appointment by February. I can live with that it's not too long a wait. I hope they allow mum to come in with me. I don't think I can do it without her. Surely it's my session and if I want mum there because I'd be more comfortable then they should respect that. Omg what if they don't. What if I have to do it all on my own. Why am I overthinking this. It's not happening until February. Chill out.

I should really post this and go inside. It's almost 1 am. I'm sat in the gazebo in short PJ's and it's really mild tonight. There's a bit of a breeze but I'm protected by the walls of the gazebo. I'm nice and toasty in here. I don't want to go inside yet. I'm not ready for bed. I could sit outside all night tonight but I won't. That would be stupid. Anyway if I'm out here asleep I won't hear Bob if she needs me in the night. I'll check on them before I go to sleep. I forgot to take my phone with me the last 2 times I've been in. So I just enjoyed the moment without taking 100s of pictures of them. They are so unbelievably cute. One has a pink nose. I just want to pick them up and cuddle them. But for now I'll cuddle Bob and let her cuddle the jellybeans. Their eyes will start to open next week. I can't wait. They're blue to start with and that's going to be adorable. How dare they be so cute.