lonely and stupid bitch

my family situation

our family has too much Accountability. well parents should have Accountability over their children . but too much of it can make home a prison... tho i have shit relation with my sister and cant get along with her also i have her very much , i am still not into this much strictness . sigh sometimes my mom can be too much . for god sake my sis is in uni and she can and should be responsible for her own actions . my mom still acts like mom bird whose child cant fly . if i dont get out of this home my situation will be same . and why the hell all the youngest in family are sooooo evil .yea i am guilty towards my younger one for not being a proper sister . but i have always been a buddy with this person . what kind of grudge he is holding against me ???? feels like we were mortal enemies in our past life .

sigh i miss those days when we all had good relations with each other . we used to make up soon after fighting . how long its been since we talked looking at each other's face ..... they were the one to start . now even i hate them . and uk it takes twice energy to ignore and hate ppl . home is now the most awkward place ...

ok i agree i the most bastarded one among my siblings . why u say . cus i act like pretty innocent good girl which i am adsolutely not . i am totally foul mouthed . a emotionless and clueless jerk type of person . and i have done many naughty deeds in secret and successfully hid them well . i am wilder than i look . i am cerizer than i act . i wish i had more confidence in myself ....
now when i am supposed to start studying i am still reading mangas . tho this stuff now feels boring too. i shouldnt wait for the start of month and start studying so i dont lag behind . if i wanna get out of my small town i must work harder . fighting gurl u got this ...