LifeAsABullet

007

Listening to some punk music while I write this. I just finished up work for the day and am working on downing a cup of coffee so I can get my butt on the treadmill. I need to finish out my eight miles for the day before I head to the pool.

I had the HVAC unit serviced today. The guy said it is working fine and there is no need to replace it, which is refreshing to hear. I like having it serviced every spring and fall. It is some program... he also said my house looks so nice and it is kept up with. He said he can tell all my stuff is cared for appropriately and that I do a good job. I was talking to him about selling it and he said you better do it within the year because he thinks the bottom will fall out with the housing market. I see it. I really just want to be in an equally nice house closer to my Dad. If I have to have a small mortgage on it, then so be it, but I do not want to purchase a house that needs a total remodel. I do not know if I am ready for that. I have had twelve years in this house to do that and it has been such a slow road. I kind of just want to move on with life.

It does not feel like a Tuesday... yesterday went by fast. Almost like a blur. I got assigned a project to manage which gives me a bit of consternation but I'm all about growing this year so it is something I am going to tackle head on. I went to the pool after work and ran. I felt like there was something else I wanted to write about but I forget what it was...

I know last night after the pool, I wanted to run over to Boots and make out with him. I don't even know why. I am totally living in fantasy land as he is not as good as I make him sound to the irrational side of my brain. He's almost 40, lonely as hell, has very few friends, and barely leaves his house. Why the fuck am I hung up on him again? Who knows... but when I am in that mindset, there is no talking me out of it. I totally project what I envision an ideal man to be and then push that projection onto him. I do think he would be an amazing father to children though but a psychic once said he would never emotionally fulfill me. And that is something I consider to be fitting as his personality might be too ... underdeveloped for me.

Oh well. I talked to a few guys in the hot tub last night. Everyone was talking about their health struggles and how they're working on getting back into shape. It was so nice to be around normal people who are not pretending all the damn time. We're all trying and at different stages in life. There is something so refreshing about people who are not painting the picture of life they want everyone to think they have and just being transparent about it. I was 186 when I got on the treadmill this morning. I'm making a lot of progress but when I use my Orange Theory wristband, it makes me push into the orange zone and that is where I see a lot of weight loss melt off. It is harder though to go 7 mph at a 7 incline!

Apparently they're going to mail my degree out to the house at the end of October. I think I work all of this week and next week. Then, I'm off for a week. I was thinking of going to see my Dad but I might hold off until our visit in November when we go see Niagara Falls.

I need to drill my Russian homework and prepare for my lesson tomorrow but other than that, I'm pretty much done with the day. Going to run....