My short pointless life
2023-09-24 00:50:29 (UTC)

We all need this shit.

You know what we all need? Besides money? someone in our lives telling us what a great job we are doing. yep. something as simple as that. cme on we all need to hear these magic words.

so my grandfathers friend, who i know since i was in diapers today met me. He used to be a bodybuilder and at 50 he used to run behind me to teach me how to cycle. He's almost 90 and he does weights. Since long we used to do thing thing where we handshake and he tries to press hard and crush my fingers into pulp and so do i. I got a good grip. Today he said so. That made me feel good. Years back my cousins wife asked me about what i do and found it totally fascinating and explaining what i do made me feel good about myself.

you wanna know the best part? never once has my family ever said those words. I'm a failure to them i know it. they don't say it. but the feeling is always there. Always been outsiders who have supported my moral when it needed it. so yep i'm one of you all. broken inside with major issues. we all are. or else we won't be here. happy people don't write diaries. they live their lives. we got nowhere to turn to so the collective horde comes here.

What we also need are two gmail ids. For yoututbe. I specifically made one seperate for my metalhead shit and guess what it turned into this tech fiasco. with apple shit being everywhere. every single fuck face has a video on the new iphone and it's driving me nuts. so now begins the cleansing. Will take me almost half hour daily to click on everything i don't want as not interested to teach youtube to show me what i want!!
My other id can be all of tech and no music. being lazy i mixed up the two...arghhhhhhh