Amber's ramblings
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2023-06-06 20:47:16 (UTC)


I'm still really tired. I think an early night is in order. I don't know why I'm so tired.

I can't be bothered by anything today.

Back when I was in the children's home the only other girl there was Kelly. A year younger than me and we got on great. Which was good because to start with we had to share a room. Anyway every week one of us did a runner and on this occasion it was me. The police found me at my besties house. Obviously. That's where I always went. So I was taken back to the home. When I got there the staff went mental at me before I went upstairs to find Kelly. She was in the bedroom and she smiled as soon as she saw me and held up a squeezy bottle filled with water. We went to the girls bathroom at the front of the house and waited for the police to come outside and then squirted the water at them before running giggling back to our room. Once there we started having a little water fight in the bedroom. It wasn't long before the staff came in and confiscated the bottle. But we were still hyper and wasn't ready to go to bed. So we picked up the shampoo bottles and had a fight with those. They were soon confiscated as well. The only thing that was left was tubes of toothpaste. To this day I don't know how I got it on the ceiling because the ceilings were high. So anyway we got separated and Kelly had to go to a room at the other end of the corridor. It was the first time I went to sleep smiling.

Soon after that an older girl Debbie came and things weren't fun anymore. She was 18 and had to share a room with me. I hated it and so did she. After a couple of weeks I switched rooms with Kelly. I preferred it on my own anyway. But things were about to get a whole lot worse. Debbie turned everyone against me. Kelly stopped talking to me because of her. And all the boys turned on me. It was horrible.

I was only supposed to be there for 1 night. But I ended up being there for 5 months. They had to move me out after the riot. I blamed myself for the riot for a long time. But actually it was Debbie who started it. Why was an 18 year old there anyway. And there's no way she should have been sharing a room with a 13 year old.

Well I realised earlier that today marks the 16th anniversary of my biological father's death. I didn't even notice until I saw my sister's post on Facebook.