someoneprobablydelusionallol

Deeepppp

Ummmmm idk how to say this but rn i feel like im capable of everything. And most of the time today i just wasn’t there, time flew by without me noticing and i dont think i feel anything anymore. I feel sadness stres and anger for sure but like even less than always… like my emotions were idk covered by something. I wanna cry, punch something and lie there staring into nothing at the same time. I cant believe he left me even tho i was just suffering during our relationship. Im even starting to think i stopped caring long ago and continued this only because of this „sense of belonging”. Like i felt that they can’t find anyone better than me so i „tried” to make things better and well only hurt myself in the process. Im not even fully aware of what im typing lol. Im beggining to think more and more that death would be the best and only way to finally be free and stop feeling like shit. I wont do it but i admit i wanna kms lmao. You thats it for that entry if i make it till holidays its gonna be a miracle