My Life as it is.
2023-05-30 17:24:38 (UTC)

Nothing new here.

Nothing really been happening around here that's interesting.

Justin's on his man periods or something, which isn't ideal cause my actual period is coming and I'm already unbearable I don't need his bullshit lol.

Anyway he's super moody lately and I feel like I'm always walking on egg shells when he's like this and it's frustrating cause he don't do that for me. Even last night, there was a beer in the fridge and I'm like can I take that beer (he had one cracked already for himself) he's like yea as he walks out the door so I go to grab it and then I can hear him mumbling that he's done buying beer. I admit I've been drinking his beer. I don't go out, I work from home so I don't leave the house during the week generally, and honestly who gives a fuck. Just like a month ago I asked him to pick me up a case of beer, I transferred him 40$ and he came home with a 6 pack of cans for me. Like come on, a 6 pack is 15$.

Even last week on Friday I asked him to pick me up smokes, he did and the day after I bought him 2 packs to pay him back instead of him going to buy them. He acts like it's this huge inconvenience when it's like minimal. He asks me for a smoke cause he forgets his pack in the car or in house like at minimum once a day and if we're outside a while it's like 5 smokes and I don't say shit. Like for fuck sakes we're married now, I should be able to drink your beer all the damn time and you pay for it. If he mentions it again I'm gonna sit at the table and make a list of everything that needs to be paid and I'll tell him we're splitting it all right down the middle instead of me paying groceries and him wanting all expensive shit all the time, and adding shirts and the expensive tooth paste and all this dumb shit to the 'groceries'. Needless to say, I just shoved the beer that I hadn't even opened yet, back in the fridge and mumbled to myself. The worst part is there's a case of bottles right beside the fridge, it's not like it was the last beer or anything. Ohwell.

Then we went to eat supper outside, we had nachos. His sister came and sat with us and then 5 minutes later he says oh well I'm going to take my shower and stuff. I stayed out with his sister until she was done eating and come inside to find him on the couch on his phone. Then when I sit on the couch to watch tv, he gets up to go actually take his shower, then afterwards I can hear him start watching tv in bed. So I finish my show and go for my smoke and play on my phone, then head for the shower. Once I'm done showering I go into bed and not even 5 minutes later he's going downstairs. I wasn't bothered by it, I've been trying for a little over a month to finish up watching Firefly Lane, so I started and episode of that while he was downstairs. I finished my episode then wanted to watch another, 5 minutes later he's upstairs in bed changing it to this show that we had started watching together but that he's since watched like 3 shows while I'm not there..

It's getting annoying, he doesn't even think for a second like what would make her happy, what would she want, what would make her comfortable. Meanwhile I am exhausting myself trying to make him get out of this shitty fucking mood he's in. And to boot, he's been complaining about the house stuff. Like dude, I do the dishes, the laundry, I keep the floors clean, pick up after myself, etc. He bought a faucet for the washroom like a while back, still not up and it leaks. He keeps saying he's gonna change the light bulb in the office, that I will do myself soon, that he's gonna clean and oil the window fan that we have to listen to squeak all night. It's all these little things that he doesn't even mind doing but just isn't doing. But then has the nerve to bring up the fact that i play my game once in a while or whatever like fuck off.

I'm still so mad about that. Tomorrow is my birthday and I doubt that he's gonna do anything when he's like this. It's funny cause I would be over the moon if he just came home and said let's cuddle and play cards or something, but he's not about that either this week. He told me the other night that he didn't wanna cuddle as much and that I needed to stop being clingy, he said 'not because i don't love you but because I don't like that'. I didn't know how to take that really. I do like that, so it's kind of maddening. I don't like listening to tv in my bedroom when I'm going to bed, I don't like it when people play on their phones when there's people they could conversate with, I don't like literally any of the shows that I watch daily, fucking towing shows and gold digging and antique finders, but guess what? It's not an inconvenience to me so I deal with it like everyone else does when they're in it for the long haul, and it doesn't even bother me!

Anyway I'm done complaining, I love this fucker but sometimes I swear he knows when I'm feeling down and he just urghhhhh!

I pooped this morning and there was no blood. I hope it was just a fluke and doesn't do it again, but my period is starting today or tomorrow or whenever, so it will be harder to notice. I had such a hard time sleeping yesterday. I even cut down on my caffeine intake and still last night, tossed and turned and even this morning I was up at 5:30 and forced myself to stay in bed until my usual time because I knew I was hella tired and I can't add that my emotions right now lmao. I swear for like 20 minutes straight he had the hiccups while he was sleeping, I had never hard that before. Snore, hiccup, snore, hiccup. I kept laughing and couldn't stop cause when he would do it the whole bed would shake.

Well I'm rambling again about dumb stuff cause I'm no longer having mental breakdowns everyday.

Still no update on my ring.. I message them everyday and they provided me with the same response - 7 to 14 day delay. My credit card says I need to wait until 1 month after the charge to file a dispute.

It's sooo shitty honestly. This is a big company too- like one you would think would be reliable. It's totally not and once this is over, good outcome or bad, I will be writing a review online detailing this whole dumb experience.

I honestly am so tired and feel exhausted this week. Tomorrow feels like a chore more than anything. If I don't feel up to it I may not go but then I'll feel even crumbier sitting at home alone all day on my birthday and it's supposed to be nice out so tanning would be great. I'm gonna get my period so that'll be another thing making more uncomfortable and my titties are sore already and blah. Sometimes I wish I just had a penis. What do they deal with, like a few years of uncomfortable boners here and there? Like really though lol.

Anyway, gonna take it easy today, not sure about tomorrow yet.