AmberG

23/05

Well I didn't want to go see the nurse today. Mum made me. When we got back I tried calling the number for the eye screening. No one answered. Twice. So I gave it half hour then tried again. Got through they can't give me an appointment until the 24th July. That's over 2 months away. I'll just go blind in the time I'm waiting. No problem.

So I was laughing with mum while we waited for my appointment. I kept saying she's late I'm leaving. And mum kept saying no. Anyway we were laughing when the nurse came to get me. My ECG was fine. My blood pressure has come down. They were laughing at my tan lines. It wasn't a bad appointment I just didn't want to go.

Not heard from him again for a while. I don't know why. I don't know how I feel about it. I'm getting whiplash going back and forth all the time. One minute he's saying he loves me. Then I don't hear from him for days. What am I supposed to feel. I'm trying not to love him. But it's so hard. When he talks to me I fall in love all over again. And then he ignores me and I start to feel . . I don't know how I feel. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.

Nevermind he's just messaged me. We're talking about me seeing the nurse today.

It's almost 1 am and Penny is still out. Refusing to come in. I need to sleep. I need my bed. Just over 2 hours I got last night. I'm exhausted.