Love, life and loss
2023-05-14 16:01:04 (UTC)

Days like today

Days like today i miss what could have been and absolutely devastated to have lost my girls
Miss them so bad I cant dry my tears
Everytime I pull myself together I get upset again and tears leak from my eyes
Trying to be brave
Trying not to upset anyone else
But life hits and days like today make me realise that I was never cut out to be a mum anyway
Im too selfish
I would have made a crap mum so good job my girls didnt make it
I agree
My girls deserved a better mum than me
I'd have let them down
I have nothing left worth while and too selfish for anything
Might even let D go to a new home as he deserves a better owner too 😥😥

I've spent today propping up others in a bad way but I have nothing left for anyone else when I cant manage myself

I just cant stop the tears
I need a hug
A hug where I'm held so tight i feel safe for just a second
Like the hug my friend sam gave me when I first lost erin
Where i just let it all out and couldnt stop crying whilst she hugged me
But I felt safe with her
And not judged
But instead I'm stuck here
Emotional and drained
My heart hurts
And trying to prop everyone else up with nothing left in my to give

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