Amber's ramblings
2023-05-08 21:04:34 (UTC)


Been having weird dreams lately. Not good ones. In one I was being chased by a gang and they had guns. One of them shot me. In another I was at a theme park and I was playing on a game just inside the entrance. I stayed there all day winning prizes and at the end of the day I couldn't carry them all to the car and no one would help me.

Had another argument with him last night. I'm so tired of him having a go. It doesn't matter what I say it will always be wrong. He's on one again tonight. Having a go because I didn't message him all day. But he didn't message me either. Communication is a 2 way street. Why should I be the one who always messages first. And now he's ignoring me. I don't know what to say to him. Everything I say he has a go at so why bother.

Had a bad headache all day again and the pain killers took hours to work. I still had it when I went to see mum tonight. She knew I was upset. I told her about last night and she kept me talking to keep me from thinking about it. I tried so hard not to cry and I managed it but now I feel like I'm falling apart. I just have to remember it's only a few days until the weekend and I'm off to comic con. I am looking forward to it and I have nice costumes to wear. I can't wait. I will keep in touch with mum while I'm away. I'm going to miss her and dad. I hope they're ok when I'm away. I do worry about them. I tell mum every night before I leave that I love her. I can't imagine them not being a part of my life now. 4 months ago I had no one I had to deal with everything on my own. And now I have a family who love me.

I am so tired. Maybe that's why I'm getting all these headaches. I'm mentally exhausted I just want to sleep forever and never wake up again. At least in my dreams nothing can hurt me.