AmberG

26/04

So I called the doctor today to get an appointment. I was told the earliest one I could have would be at the end of may. So I explained what I needed and I've got an appointment next week with the nurse to check my blood pressure. I'm sure that's why I'm getting the headaches. I saw her last year and I was borderline high blood pressure. So we'll see what happens next week.

Had an ok day. Was down this morning because I woke up with yet another headache. Took pills which helped a bit. Then I had to take more when I went over to see mum this evening.

We had a good chat about comic con among other things. I am looking forward to it but I have to get through the next 2 weeks first. Like Friday I have my exam. So I'm studying for that this week. Not that I care. It's not something I'm ever gonna need but I wanted to prove to myself that I'm not as stupid as people tell me I am.

I bought mum some tulips today. They are so pretty. Nice colours. She has been my rock and if I can make her smile by doing things like that it's worth it. I wish I could do more. I love her and I appreciate everything she does. I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. I owe her my life and no amount of flowers could ever make up for that.

So I was throwing up which brought on another headache. I really hope it's due to my BP and not something more serious. Like a brain tumor or something. Not being overdramatic because my cousin died of a brain tumor. And my niece has one too. I know I overthink everything so I probably am just reading too much into it. But it has got me worried. If I die I die. At this point I welcome it. I've thought a lot about dying and I already have my funeral songs worked out. I just hope whoever plans my funeral honers my wishes. For example I don't want to be in a coffin the thought terrifies me. And I want to be cremated not buried. And I want Mojo's and JackJacks ashes put me mine so we can be together forever. And Penny too when the time comes. At least if I do die soon I'd avoid the zombie apocalypse.

Talking about the zombie apocalypse I have a list of people to feed to them. Also where I live we're in the perfect location. Surrounded by a fence all we have to do is close the gate. No zombie is getting in here. And hootie tootie is the first person I would push out the gate when they come. They'd be feeding on her arse for a week.

Last week I had to take Penny to the vet. And he put her on medication. She has been so good at taking her pills and she always gets treats after. I think they're working she hasn't been pulling her fur out and it's starting to grow back. Hopefully it's sorted out the problem. She may be on them for the rest of her life but if they work it's ok. The vet doesn't know what the cause is. They keep saying fleas but have never seen a single flea on her. And I keep up to date with her flea treatment. One of the vets said it could be psychological I think it could be anxiety but they've gone back to saying it's fleas. And I know it isn't. She's never had them. They have said it could be an allergy to something in the fields but she can't go over there anymore. Not since the farmer put up an electric fence which she got caught on. A few days later I adopted Bert and soon after was when she started pulling her fur out. I assumed it was because of him but he moved out in February and she's still doing it. So now I'm thinking it could be because of the fence. I guess it's something we'll never know. It's not like she can tell me.