Life of secrets
2023-04-18 05:12:20 (UTC)


The other day I wrote a letter to my unborn children. One boy, one girl. I don’t know what I’ll have or if I’ll have them, but I found it quite therapeutic. And thought perhaps it would speed things up a little. Who knows.

April was a month I had been predicted to conceive by a few. I’m not entirely sure this is the month. My resting heart rate is quite low, currently. It should be higher.

There was a woman on TikTok that I went to for a fertility reading last year, and she told me I wouldn’t conceive last year. I actually got really pissed at her reading because I thought she was just scamming me. Another one, talking shit. It was when she mentioned triplets that I checked out.

But I found the recording over the weekend and watched it back, and actually a lot of what she said made sense. She spoke about needing energy clearing and the details she mentioned, was everything my reiki healer had found when I went to her a few months after. Obviously she was right that i wouldnt conceive last year. Because I didn’t. At the time I remember thinking, she’s wrong. Surely I’ll conceive this year! But no. She also mentioned I wouldn’t conceive while on the fertility Medication - again, I thought she was wrong. How could I not conceive on the meds??? I didn’t…. But she said I’d conceive shortly after coming off them, with no medical help.

She mentioned April as a specific month. And so here I am, wondering, could this be the month, again. I don’t hold out much hope when I’m predicted specific months, seeing as it’s never happened. But I felt quite hopeful this month. There’s still time to find out. But deep down I don’t feel it’s this month.

I went back to her the other day when I realised her last reading actually resonated. She still mentioned multiples and said I could have a total of 4 children. I told her I’m not sure about the triplets. I truly do not think I’ll have triplets. But perhaps she’s seeing one pregnancy, and then another shortly after with twins. I have been told about multiples a few times in my life.

I just kind of wish that all these predictions would happen.

Waiting is so taxing.