Amber's ramblings
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2023-04-08 20:28:33 (UTC)


After a disastrous day yesterday I wasn't feeling great today. I desperately wanted to go and see mum. I needed a hug. But I didn't want to bother her. I went to get my medication and she said I should have gone over. I was sat with her and crying. I don't know how she puts up with me. She told me she would never leave me. I've heard that a million times before but I actually believe her. She gave me the biggest hug and I felt so much better. Why do I find it so hard to say that I needed a hug? Inside I was screaming. But I couldn't find the words.

We're seeing the doctor on Thursday and this is really my last ditch attempt at getting help. If she doesn't do anything this time that will be it. I can't keep doing this. No one is listening to us. I've tried and mum tried. What am I supposed to do. They are refusing to help and I can't live like this anymore. It's over. I'm done. We'll see what happens on Thursday

Things are pretty dark again all I want to do is curl up and die.

My bank account was hacked. Well my debit card was hacked. This keeps happening so I'm thinking there's a problem with the bank. I've lost count of how many times in the last year this has happened. And I've been so careful with this card I only got it last month because it was used fraudulently. And again this month. The card hasn't left my sight. So why does this keep happening. And it's not like I can call the bank now until Tuesday. It's Easter weekend so no one is going to be working tomorrow or Monday. They cancelled my card I did that on the app. But I need them to look into this because it's not fair. I can barely survive as it is without people thinking it's ok to try and steal my money. I've had enough. If they don't sort this out I will need to go to another bank. I can't have this happen again. And I never get the money back. I can't afford to keep loosing it.

Last summer someone got hold of my details and used it to order Uber eats a few times totalling to £75. I never got that back. Someone else used it to order Amazon prime and I didn't notice that for a few months. I never got that back either. There have been a lot over the last few years I can't think how much I've lost. I'm so done with it.