Jello's Heart
2023-04-04 21:21:57 (UTC)

Stand Up

I don't want to move.
I just, want to lie here, in the painful familiarity of this misery.
It hurts, it hurts so much, but it feels right.
Why can't things just stay like this.
I just want to lay here, and melt away into nothingness.

I feel the rot spread through me, seeming to eat away at every inch of my dark body.
It's always been there.
Why am I even trying to fight it.
And then I take a breath. It doesn't mean much in this body, and stings as well, but it fills my chest and restores just a tiny bit of life to me.
The rot eases off, and I feel my flesh start to heal. It burns, burns far worse than lying still and giving in to the pain ever could, but I know it has to be done.

I stand up, taking another breath.
I stand up, because it's what I must do.
My legs feel like jelly beneath my weight, but I take a step regardless, doing my best to pull my goopy flesh back together.
I've always gotten back up, even when it hurt.
Today, and every day going forward, will be no different.

The rot is not gone, and it never will be, but as long as I keep breathing and standing, it will never consume me.