The lonely codependent

Addicted to you no more
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2023-03-22 08:48:32 (UTC)

Bad morning

As I'm about to meet 2 guys, yesterday I washed my hair while taking a bath. As a result water got into my ears and one of them is clogged now. That's annoying but I'm trying to not let it bother me too much.

Then I got up at 6AM to go to the city with my dad but he simply forgot about me and now I have to take the bus alone. I'm very angry and don't really feel like talking to anyone at the moment so maybe it's better that I'm all alone.

The first question anyone would ask in this situation is of course 'Why, why is this happening to me?'

I asked myself the same question and immediately knew the answer so now I can't decide whether I should laugh or cry. I remember being in the same situation and asking my therapist if Murphy's law (if something can go wrong, it will go wrong) works only because I'm making it work. But I'm starting to doubt that.

So, the answer is that I think all this is happening to me because I have a date scheduled. Just like last time, things don't seem to be going according to the plan. Obviously because my subconscious is trying too hard and I'm putting too much pressure on myself. Or because the curse is think is on me when it comes to my love life is real and need to fight hard to beat it. I'm kinda used to this because it would be kinda surrealistic for me to imagine my dream date where I simply feel confident and everything turns out in the best possible way. The interesting thing is that I haven't even replied to the guy yet regarding tomorrow's plans and I was just focusing on what I need to do today first. Yet, chaos is already present around me.

I feel a bit calmer now that I know the answer to my question. But does this really help me?

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