The lonely codependent

Strong enough

Sometimes I feel like I'm strong enough to survive anything and everything. For example one of the worst breakups of my life even though my platonic ex is still trying to be nice to me and if I had to choose between him and the narcissistic one I'd choose him without thinking. He's not a bad person so we definitely don't deserve to be in such a difficult situation. I guess he already knows how I feel because I couldn't help hinting on that.

But what's the point in always being strong? Why is that better or worth it more than finally being in a happy, working long-term relationship (with any guy on earth with whom I'd be compatible, not one certain person)? I guess this is my daily question to God today.