The lonely codependent

I don't need you

I don't need you anymore. I don't need anyone to be happy.

Well, I do need you as a friend. I need friends. But just like when I was at uni, I can't be grateful for what I (can) have because it's never enough. I can't stop being envious of her... Not really jealous, because she already has what I'd be ready to die for every day.

No contact... That has worked very well with one guy for years and that has probably saved my life as that one was a really toxic relationship. Or two, it's hard to tell because some people decide to walk out of my life on their own sometimes. That one guy definitely doesn't belong to this group though. With others it doesn't seem to work so well.

I'm not sure, should I finally grow up and kick the people who will never make an effort to see me out of my life? Or is learning to control my emotions the mature thing to do?

All I'm sure about is that I'm tired of walking in the same circles. I want to mean much more to someone than a person they can turn to when they are bored or going through some kind of shitty situation.