The lonely codependent

Let thy kingdom come in my life

Dear God! I'll let you do whatever you want to me. Whatever you think I should do, I will do it. If you want me to go on another risky adventure, I'll pack my bag and travel to a foreign country. I like to do that anyway. If you want to to give an explanation on why I'm feeling like crap again, I'll listen to you. If this lasts forever, I don't care, I'll try to be patient.

The only thing I ask is please take responsibility for your actions. Show me that you care and even if I end up in an unpleasant situation I don't mind that but I want to know that you are behind the scenes and have a plan with that situation as well. I just don't want to feel that I'm totally alone and all bt myself - which I am all the time.

I just want to be sure that what I'm going through serves a purpose. Any kind of purpose. So please confirm that. I'm done making decisions on my own that always lead me back to square one.

So, am I traveling?
Am I becoming less lonely?
Am I learning something at last that I failed to for decades?

It's all up to you now and please don't try to stay out of it because I don't know what to do. I have never known.