always wth love

2023-03-19 08:16:38 (UTC)

Left home thoughts and anxiety

Since I left home
Every so often I get texts back home that leave me in a panic
I'm tired with alarm texts make me worry but there's nothing I could do so I decided screenshot what I got back home to my brother and hopefully ease my anxiety because it's not making sense to me.
Conversations with my grandpa last Wednesday day was quite important one the plan to set down with my lil brother build a relationship with him before I leave go back home for good.
Lately it's been hard to have boundaries in place when you feel like you owe reason WHY so that's where I am now? Thoughts now trying figure out what I need fix and learn. I'm so glad I'm taking a break from Instagram yet in last 24 hours turning off notifications that bring anxiety because it will keep countable. I'm hoping catch up with sis or my ex. Lately its a lot to handle I need to talk to both of them.
Since leave home , there's a lot emotions coming in and I found it odd I just started crying without there's a lot broken piece's that I left . Since reconnected with my mom who saw better outcome of my childhood to adulthood and now I pick myself and go back home . If you had go back in time tell myself the guy catfish would ruin your life and make run for your own peace. I wouldve you been dead wrong . It would bring adulting lessons but also uncomfortable guilt that make more bored than you once did..... Time to pick up the pace you got running so fast so her back home and cry for hours in arms because sis only one understands. I know when I start therapy, the there's is going ask what brought you in today. Anxiety. Childhood. Disability. Depression. Escapegoat. Afraid. Stuck. There's a lot want to talk about but never sat down with someone isn't a family or friends. I thank God everything given me. I did when I was lil that was years ago. Soo it's been years since last time so. What to do now is to do before I bring kids into the mixed I need that so much it hurts so much it's starting spiral out again .