Tru

New doctor....

I finally got into the mental health. I was scared actually because I was always told that if you think about unlive yourself they will put you in hospital. I never would say it out loud. He did explain to me how it actually works and I won't be put in hospital. So I was finally honest. It really is the best thing to do if I want help that is be given to me.
It so hard living here because the negativity is strong. It's my negativity that is coming out. I just can't bring myself to live this trashy way that they live. I'm not a maid. My dogs are not safe. I don't feel safe. I feel isolated. I'm stuck in my room 24/7. The only place I go to is doctors or grocery. Those times are the highlight of my ventures.
I did get several things I can do (crafts) but it doesn't take away the feelings of loneliness. I wish I could have not accepted the task of helping him with his daughter.
I used to be bubbly, arms now have scars from all the bugs, fleas in this place. I've gained weight I can't get rid of. My blood pressure has gone high since being here. It was 161/119 yesterday.
If I stay in this place I won't make it.