always wth love

I can't breathe 😧

I don't think it's Homesick this time?
I wish I could describe it yet again it's always hard expression my feelings since I was a kid. Last night I'd wave of heavy depression hit me hard it felt different then I ever had it. Which I'm not sure why this particularly this time. Who I can talk to about this right now? A therapist maybe 🤔 yep but right now my mental health has to be put hold on this time. I'm back home.... sometime this week I'd had woke up from nightmares all I know it felt like I couldn't breathe and it was different then ever before. I've been taking a lot naps like I did for two years in my early years of college which always scare me be because they come in out of nowhere!?! I also feel like was going to have panic attack which didn't happen but I felt like it was going to happen. There's a lot things I need get while on down here my mother and brother others I need to go back home... One thing that bothered me was when my mom said why are homesick? You hardly gone anywhere unless it was appointments or physical therapy. Idk why that hurt so bad it had . This has been rough on me, might be my mom daughter but I'm not nothing like her. As for my brother 💯 copy and paste. It's 😧 to think I wanted this so badly and I feel shitty all time ... Later tonight I catch up my ex which I've to get off my chest lately it's becoming to much I just talk to someone that knows my head at this point . Well I'm trying not show a sad face of this wave of uncomfortable living situation.