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Had a nice chat with mum today. I opened up about a few things. I love how she listens and doesn't judge. I tried to hold back the tears but they came anyway. She didn't let go of my hand as I talked. Told her about the messages from him last night. He's putting all the blame on me. He needs to take responsibility. He was the one who walked away. I never wanted that. But now I won't let him come back he's putting all the blame on me. No I'm not having it. It was his choice not mine. He pushed me away so I'm staying away.
Off for a day out tomorrow. Going to the beach. Thought the girls would enjoy it. I think it might do me good as well. I hope we have good weather and can actually sit on the beach. Can't do that if it's raining we'll have to find an arcade and spend the day in there. I feel like I want to stand by the edge of water and scream into the wind for a while.