Amber's ramblings
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2023-03-15 22:47:23 (UTC)


Well I'm still here for now. I don't know if I can make it to the doctor appointment next week. Things are really bad. I hate when I go to get my medication and end up crying. I know they don't mind. But I can feel myself slipping further and further down. And I don't want to bother them with this. I thought I knew what my next move was. But how can I do that to them. At the moment I'm fighting to stay alive. But I don't know how long I can keep fighting. I'm falling and I can't stop. I want to die. Before I was suicidal but I was fighting to keep the feelings away. But now I want to die. There isn't really anything left here. The only thing stopping me so far is what the parents would feel. And I'm trying to hold on to that. But I feel it slipping away. Everything is dark. I'm looking for the light to find my way out. I'm giving up. I have no hope left. I can't do this anymore.