The lonely codependent

Questioning my beliefs

I always write a lot about the conflicts between me and my family. I have no motivation for these things at all so I'm constantly angry and so are they because they wish I was there for them.

But I'm not. Why?

According to my new theory that might be because I'm afraid. I don't want to be taken advantage of - which may be an exaggeration but so is my entire behavior most of the time. As not much else has happened recently and my next therapy appointment is coming up, I think this will be one of the main topics to discuss.

I'm thinking how this might be connected to codependency though. On one hand there what happens is exactly this, you may let yourself be taken advantage of as you might not know how to draw your boundaries and you tend to make decisions based on your partner's opinion. On the other hand we also want to be in control. If I manage to convince my partner to do the same hobbies as I do, we will probably not argue about free time so it's less likely that he will want to leave me (which would be devastating). Way too many contradictions here.