rotten

the lazarus coffee

or in finnish "lasaruskahvi", means a cup of coffee that's gone cold & been reheated in the microwave - the term originates from a story of lazarus of bethany, in which jesus raises a man from the dead four days after his entombment. many consider coffee-microwaving to be a violation against the sanctity of said elixir of life, but as someone who's as poor as they are far from being a neurotypical, i can't afford to. i might even *refridgerate* the coffee, sometimes overnight!, before i put it in the microwave (btw the word 'microwave' should always be read/said in the unhinged manner nigella says it in that one video)... i know, i know. they say "life is too short for bad coffee", but i mean. i don't care how short it is, i don't wanna spend it making one single cup of coffee over and over and over again. anyway, the cause for this title is an incident that made me go "why am i like this" - once again. long story short; my parents left the country, i was the last one to leave their apartment, and as i left, i also left a cup of coffee in their microwave. i didn't realize until i had driven home and started making myself coffee here... *facepalm*. and i was supposedly very helpful prior to this, lmao: i took out their trash, emptied the dishwasher, made sure nothing was left in the sink that could start to stink (hey, that rhymed!) and put all the still-good leftover food into the freezer. all this effort, only to then forget a little oatmilky surprise in their microwave. luckily mum just laughed when i texted her about this, but still. it's frustrating when things like this happen all the time.

anyway, i was at my parents' because me and m had symphony orchestra concert tickets, it was called 'a night at the oscars'. so, movie music. i loved it, even though there was a fucking irritating brat sat behind us. i tried thinking "perhaps he has adhd too" but that didn't help enough, as every time there was even a slightly more quiet, emotional moment in the music, he started talking. really i hated his grandparents who apparently dragged him there against his will - why do people do that? drag kids to places where they don't want nor need to be. i don't get it. i'm sure it's just to torture the people around them... either way. i also spotted a friend of mine on the stage, even though we had balcony seats and y'know, i'm half blind. she came to say hi during the interlude and it was really nice to see her, she's one of those people who's just. sunshine in a human form. and we hadn't seen each other in years. i had no idea she had a gig with that symphony orchestra, and it's so damn cool for someone to work as a musician like that. the concert was really good though, the conductor (i can't believe that's the word for it in english, that's ridiculous and now all i can think of is trains) was very entertaining to watch aaand they played 'married life' from 'up!', as well as bunch of john williams. and it was really nice to dress up! i didn't think it would be, i usually hate trying to look fancy in any way, but now it was more relaxed than like, being a quest at someone's wedding, so. it was nice. i went to m's at around fiveish, and we left for the concert at around 20 past 6. i liked how my makeup turned out - i wore lashes too - and it was the last time i put on the black and silver glitter dress i bought a few years ago. i remember trying it on a few times and going "omg this looks terrible, i can never wear this, why did i ever buy it?" but now i felt really good in it - and the response i had on the ig story i posted with me wearing it was... kinda overwhelming tbh. apparently i should wear it more often, lol. so many people complimented the dress and how it looked on me. ju2 apologized for 'sliding into my dm's' to tell me i'm hot, but he just wanted to say that he thinks that i am. it felt rather nice. i mean, c'mon. a man who's seen me without clothes on still thinks i'm hot; that's insane. OK, moving on now, lmao!

it's been a busy week - on monday the girls were here, on tuesday i went to the paja and afterwards mi came to my place for dinner. on wednesday i went to the paja again, mum came to hang out with w and i was supposed to get a ride home from her but then... there was a communication issue and she was slow and irritating and i almost froze to death until i ended up taking the bus anyway. when i got home i took a nap, packed some things and drove to my parents'. on thursday we had the concert (we went to mcdonald's afterwards, it was so dissappointing) and i drove back to mum's for the night. on friday i ...forgot the coffee in the microwave... and drove home. i picked up sa on my way and we hung out the whole night; i took her home somewhere around idek, 11ish? we played SO many rounds of yatzy and then i made the pearl porridge and everything was okay until the porridge worked as a trauma trigger for her since it was something her late father used to love... he passed when she was on the 8th grade, so that must've been really difficult. she didn't finish the porridge but naturally i didn't care, i was just happy she felt safe enough around me to show and verbally express she was feeling very anxious. i would've been upset if i had only afterwars learned that she was anxious and like forced herself to eat. i'm glad she didn't choose that option. we talked about coins too, i love having found a fellow weird nerd!

(it's 4:02 am now) i've been doing so well for so many days now i'm really starting to get suspicious! i've managed to maintain a tidy place, i've done the dishes whenever there's been any and so on and so on. the apartment being at least somewhat clean has had such a huge impact to my headspace! it's weird, really. but yeah, i've been doing better, had more energy to do stuff, slept a bit better, i guess? i'm currently trying to figure out if i'm hypomaniac, but more on that on another time, i can't deal with that rn. SO, today my best friend from the grades 7-9 came to visit. we already put the next appointment in our calendars too, just so it wouldn't take years before we see each other again. i really love her! she still knows me so well, we're still super similar, our time together is always relaxed and lovely. she arrived before noon - she was 20 minutes quicker than she was supposed to so i wasn't anywhere near ready when she got here, but we hung out here, took w out, went to eat and for coffees afterwards. she drove me home and left around five. definitely my kind of a human, i've enjoyed having the night to myself. tomorrow i've promised to go see n & the baby, and possibly m. on monday we're meeting up with the yatzy weener girls again, i can't remember if i have anything planned on tueday, but on wednesday i have my pppt appointment, and on thursday it's the second gathering of my postcrossing group. and joh's 30th bday! i can't believe he's acually that old... anyway. a busy week behind, a busy week ahead. i'm gonna try and get some sleep, and pray to the universe the discomfort i feel in my throat and sinuses isn't anything serious and is gonna be 100% gone when i wake up. fingers crossed!