Anonymouslysecret

46

I’ve decided to try and calorie count again this week and I’ve managed to stick with it. If I could do a month of this, I should start to feel better. More like me again. And look more like me too.

I felt like I had more to say when I decided to write this entry…

Oh. R blocked me on Facebook and WhatsApp. Ok so we’ve not spoken for over a year but why block me now? I wish I had the guts to call him but I don’t. I have dreams that we are talking. Most of the time, it starts off with him not caring about our friendship. Not caring that we don’t speak anymore. In the last dream, he told me he had a girlfriend and he was taking her children out - I knew it wasn’t his kids because they simply were a different skin colour. He would make an excellent partner and would be perfect for a woman who already has kids. He’d take them on and just like in my dream, he’d take them out and spend time with them. He’d make any woman happy. Sometimes I regret that it’s not me. But I guess I made my choices….

A psychic told me he’s involved with that girl still. If he is, it’s a huge shame. He will lose everything he cares about. But he is like me. Gives too much and is perfect for an abusive partner. He used to tell me “if I was you, he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on!” No, R. I saw how you were with her and you did nothing. She walked all over you.

We are the same. We have always been the same. We will always be the same.