Slowly descending into madness
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2023-03-08 23:37:31 (UTC)

A relaxing day, after a long time

Hey there,

I had an amazing day after a long time. Today I didn’t work at all. More like a self care day I just slept and wasted time. I went up on the rooftop, took pictures of flowers. I saw the sunset. After a long time, the whole day was meant only for me. I feel better. I feel good. I feel peaceful. Yesterday after work, I lied in the balcony and I watched the moon. For 2/3 hours. Listened to music and relaxed for a long time. I needed this so badly. I was overstimulated with work and people. I feel better. Way better.

At my new job, my LM is a cute bunny literally. So today was our holiday but someone had to be in charge of SLA, so he said I can relax today. I was like let's do halfsies, he said no I'm doing it don't worry. The last day, when I was overwhelmed with work, he started helping me out, I told him I can do it on my own. He said, we're in this together and I melt :v I'm slowly growing a harmless crush over him only because he's kind to me.

And about my love life update: I went on 3 dates with 3 different men, 2 of them are amazing, we talked, we laughed and one of them just wants to have sex with me, which I'm not very interested to do.

So this is all that's been going on in my life. Oh the most important thing of all:

I'm moving on from penguin. I knew it cause I went to this resort for family event and I didn’t miss him, I did not feel once oh I wish he was here with me. I enjoyed my time being present there and all. I had a really good time without missing anyone and feeling guilty.

I remember, I posted an entry, "what do you call it when you have no one to miss you or call you, do you call it freedom or loneliness?" It's definitely freedom.

And I also know that I'll be lonely for someone else, this time hopefully someone good.