Life of secrets
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2023-03-08 12:20:11 (UTC)


My diarrryyyyy. My diarrryyyyy. I forgot about you.

I suppose I should write about all that’s happened. Regarding the house, we are now having to wait until 5th April (new tax year) to go with another lender. So until then, we just wait. Did I mention that my husband lost his job? I can’t remember if I did. Well, he lost his job. However he’s been extremely proactive in finding another. Within a week he’s been offered 2 roles and some other potential interviews within surveying which would be great if he could get into.

I have to respect the fact that he’s actually done something about getting a job this time. I can’t complain.

I CAN complain that he self sabotaged his last role. But I won’t.

My friend who I sort of probably shouldn’t be friends with - the one that cut me off for 10 years because of her abusive husband who has now suddenly changed - just told me that she’s meeting with another man on Friday night (a friend, someone she met on Facebook marketplace…) and mentioned that they do some harmless flirting but that’s all. So I asked, how would you feel if your husband was doing this? I mean she tells me things are better and she’s happy so why meet with other men? Or tell me the truth if things haven’t actually changed. Don’t lie. Anyway, she told me she wouldn’t care but also her husband wants her to go because he’s hoping she will seduce him, bring him back home and they have a threesome.

Now I know he used to do this to her for years but I assumed as things had changed, that this had also changed. But no.

I feel she’s made out her marriage is all good now but to me, it doesn’t seem much different to before.


Anyway… so from this month until July, I am no longer trying to get pregnant. I’m not stopping it from happening but I am also not obsessing over it anymore. I feel free.

Not much else to update on really… waiting for April to come. Hopefully quickly.