Diary of me
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2023-03-07 07:34:16 (UTC)

I am alive while I create and my art will live

A good day. I like it. Boring but calm.
In the depths of even the most vile human soul there is the light of creation and goodness. There are different ways to get this light out.
In my opinion, a lie is the most heinous moral crime that can be committed both in relation to others and to yourself, but the worst thing is to appear before the Themis of your consciousness and the lie will always be revealed and the longer you lie, the more severe the punishment will be. You can convince yourself millions of times that everything is captured and forgiven, but at one moment an absurd accident or stupidity will happen and the tower of lies will rapidly begin to fall, overwhelming its inhabitants under it. Therefore, I do not lie to the detriment of others and for my own benefit.
I don't know how it came about that I'm a bad artist, a bad fiancé and weird to the bone but I always feel when something bad happens. My predictions come true, which sometimes scares me. A new course has been chosen and I do not know where the road of adventure will lead me next time, but I know for sure that the path will not be easy as always. They don't want to let me go and they keep me busy trying to keep me, it's nice but I feel like I have to move on. I already wrote about it in my notes. As always, I am alone (well, almost). I realized what I took out of this whole situation, I took shape. For so many years I could not understand for myself who I am in my own universe, but now I know. I know what I need to do. It's nice to be popular, but the excitement and exploratory spirit will always call me on the road.
In fact, this whole story is pathetic, he became popular, and the fandom itself showed itself from the most pathetic side, when even people who know about his inner world whine pitifully and still look at his paintings, experiencing admiration and hatred for him as a person. They are brave only in words, but they do not have their own will, fortitude and desire to develop. The funny thing is that neither he nor his opponents, by and large, differ in any way in terms of the system used to monetize the products of their "creativity" and attitude towards their fans, it is still as bestial as everyone else, and people are stupid and even worse if he is one pissing right in the face will say that they are pissed, but for that they are inspired by sitting in a deep ass, feeding people identical pictures in the same positions and receiving orders on pieces of paper by mail through the filter of their dimensionless ego. When you get away from your community, you get only self-isolation and degradation, and I want to develop and not print my own merchandise or imagine myself as a god whose gaze incinerates. You stink of shit, gentlemen, and this has been going on for 10 years, and your look says that you died a long time ago and rotted inside your cocoon. You don't even disdain stealing, oh mother's science from who's? For those who will receive a maximum of 1% of the attention paid to you. I do not envy you, I just want you to understand why you are not loved. I am alive while I create and my art will live.